Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
