That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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