pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
