two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
