Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
