We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
