FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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