They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
