When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am available for nakedness
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize