do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
