North Korea, Best Korea!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
