It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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