YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
