One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
50% drunk capacity currently
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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