508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I believe in your delicious
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize