Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
