Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
