He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
