last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
