non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
