How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
