i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
