And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
