So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
