i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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