i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
