am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
