So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
