i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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