U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
