Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
