if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
