we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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