Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
