I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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