hell yes lets make some ravioli
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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