I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
