Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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