This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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