what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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