Your face is a jimmy john
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my poor anus
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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