All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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