Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
