her vagine was all disorganized.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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