I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
