i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
