NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
