THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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