its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
