Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize