i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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