I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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