Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
