we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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