i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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