I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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