I want to stick my p in your. b.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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