Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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