I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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