Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
