I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
