period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
