tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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