She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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