ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
