idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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