Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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