did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
