I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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